Narcissistic Personalty

The wold is full of narcissistic people. Perhaps you know one, live with one, work with one, perhaps you are one. Dr. Duane Dobbert (2007) states, "Both PDs present extreme egocentricity to the exclusion of others. They believe they are the smartest, the most attractive, most influential, and thus "better" than anyone else. Others fall into a 2nd class position and consequently the PDs believe that they are entitled."

Let us look a little closer at what a narcissist is. America's Mental Health Channel (2008) defines narcissism as, "A pattern of traits and behaviors which signify infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition." Furthermore, the article states that most narcissist are men (75%) and belongs to the same group of personality disorders as Borderline, Antisocial, and Histrionic (America's Mental Health Channel, 2008).

Dr. Duane Dobbert (2007) notes the similarities between an antisocial personality disorder and a narcissistic personality disorder. Dobbert (2007) states:

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

NPD is a type of psychological personality disorder characterized primarily by grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Narcissism occurs in a spectrum of severity, but the pathologically narcissistic tend to be extremely self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ perspectives, insensitive to others’ needs and indifferent to the effect of their own egocentric behavior.

What is Antisocial Personality Disorder?

APD (aka ASPD) is a psychological personality disorder characterized by lack of empathy or conscience, a difficulty controlling impulses and manipulative behaviors. This disorder is sometimes also referred to as psychopathy or sociopathy, however, Antisocial Personality Disorder is the clinical terminology used for diagnosis (APA 2000).


So many believe they are entitled to good fortune, luck, wealth, a good job, the perfect romance, the picture perfect life. But the reality is, no one is. The reality is that to get the things listed above, it is very little about luck and very much about sound decisions, decisive action, and hard work.

Are your narcissistic tendencies holding you back? Do you feel entitled to the perfect job, the perfect mate, to coming into large amounts of money, to recognition, popularity...the list goes on. The best way you can change your life is to do what it takes (even counseling) to dump narcissistic tendencies, take responsibility for your actions and in-actions and begin seizing these things you feel "entitled" to through hard work and most importantly, time.

References

Dobbert, D. (2007). Similarities Between Antisocial & Narcissism. Retrieved on November 7, 2009, from Suite101.com

Vaknin, S. (2008). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Retrieved on November 7, 2009 from America's Mental Health Channel.

Understanding Our Clients, Understanding Ourselves

To better help our clients, we need to have some understanding of where they are coming from and why they do the things they do. Many of us have clients who repeatedly do the same things, expecting different results, and then wonder why their lives are in the states they are. While sympathy for our clients is a necessity and empathy is an even bigger bonus, we need to be able to reach our clients on a deeper level to get to the root of why they do what they do. One way to define an action (or set of actions) is through a term called schemas. “Schemas are habitual ways in which you see things” (Leahy, R. 2003). A person can have a schema related to love, success, failure, weight, self-image or a multitude of other things. Often in the spirituality section, I would argue we get one main set of clients with love/relationships as their schema, followed by success/finances.

We can help our clients by first identifying their schema and then, identifying how the client compensates for that particular schema. A person with a schema that they cannot be loved may overcompensate and become a doormat for anyone that comes their way. Or they may avoid serious relationships altogether to avoid getting hurt. An individual with a schema related to success in their career may either work excessively or may not try at all for fear of failure. Whatever the schema and whatever the compensatory action, finding what these are can help us lead our clients to more healthy ways of coping and dealing with life, leaving behind schemas that have bound them and kept them from success, fulfillment, and happiness.

Reference:

Leahy, R. (2003). Cognitive Therapy Techniques: A Practioner’s Guide. New York: Guilford Press.

Whoa! September 2009, what a month!

Wow! What a month this has been and contiues to be! There is a reason for this, the planets are all astir and Mercury is in retrograde again! Mercury, the "red planet" and planet of high emotions (think mercurial, which means that a person has rapid changes in mood), is again wreaking havoc in every single sign of the zodiac, though some more than others (Virgo, Pisces, Gemini, and Sagitaruis will be most affected by a retrograde Mercury, these are known as the "mutable signs"). For all signs, this is a month to watch and wait, not embark on new ventures or initiate new projects or ideas. Mid-month, all the planets are arguing with one another, it's a giant bickering fest! This does pass as the month ends and October transitions into a more peaceful month.

Hang on for just a few more days, the clouds are parting and the sun is returning!


** "Mercury in retrograde" refers to Mercury appearing to be spinning in a backward direction in the night sky. The planet Mercury rules communications, contracts, and travel. It is best to finish up all projects involving the afore mentioned before a retrograde in Mercury begins.

Simple Truths

• Don't blame others for your messes, it will only hinder your forward progress.
• The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
• We teach people how to treat us.
• We forge our own "destiny" and with rare exception, others cannot be blamed or credited for our failures and successes.
• A "negative energy" can only affect you so much as you allow it to.
• You have power over your life, do not will it away by attributing what happens to you to "fate", "evil/negative energies" or other individuals. Be honest with yourself and take critical evaluations of how you got to where you are at and then make a detailed plan of action on how to change the circumstances and parts of your life you are unhappy with.
• Love and accept yourself if you expect others to.
• Work hard but do not work for an endeavor that is futile.
• Seek joy over happiness. Happiness is a fleeting emotion but joy comes from within and can see you through the most difficult of circumstances.
• Realize that no one and no object has the power to complete your life or bring joy. Joy comes from within and can persist through the darkest of circumstances.
• No situation is completely hopeless.
• "Luck" really is not luck but 99.9% of the time a result of effort, hard work, and time.
• Learn patience, it will serve all areas of your life well.
• We live in an on-demand, fast food world but often things take time.  Learn a bit of patience.
• Temper patience with reality.
• Do not wait for jobs or people to come to you. No person or higher power will send FedEx to your doorstep to hand deliver things you have not worked for and sought out.
• Balance kindness with self-respect and standing up for yourself. Do not allow yourself to become a doormat, remember, we teach people how to treat us.

Working for LivePerson

Clients are often perplexed about the experts who work for LivePerson, where they work from, if they're employees, potential income in a job like this, and many other questions. I thought I'd take some time to address the most common questions and perhaps shed some light on what it's like to work for this wonderful company.

LivePerson has many different categories of experts ranging from professional doctors, lawyers, counselors, and accountants to people that give spiritual/psychic advice like myself, life coaching advice, to those who give pet and home advice. Some categories, such as those for medical, legal, financial, and counseling advice, must prove their certified statuses in the particular area they wish to sign up for. Those who offer pet advice, home advice, and spiritual/psychic advice do not need to provide any verifications to work on LivePerson.

The experts on the site are independent contractors and often work from home or a home office but there is no official building where the live advice experts mentioned above go to work. The experts work from a location of their choosing. Whatever your particular expert is charging, they receive only a portion of total session fees. Different categories pay varying fees. Spirituality/psychic experts pay 45% and other categories pay 37% of earnings. Additionally, all experts are charged a .17 per minute connection charge for sessions conducted via live chat. There are no extra fees on top of the percentage for e-mail sessions. To break this down, if an expert in my category of spirituality/psychic advice where to charge $1.00 per minute for live chat, they would be paid .46 per minute after fees are paid to the site. Since LivePerson experts are independent contractors, taxes are not already taken out. For United States residents, experts pay a flat 15.3% rate of total earnings for social security and Medicare, plus additional federal taxes based on total annual earnings. Then, depending on what state U.S. experts live in, they pay state taxes on their earnings. What an expert earns can vary and is hard to gauge but in my case, I pay out a minimum of 31.3% in total taxes, state and federal.

LivePerson is a great company to work for and I would recommend the platform for anyone seeking to branch out on their own and have the freedom of working from home. You can go to the site homepage and see if they are accepting experts in the field of your choosing.