Hollywood and Story Books Lied- Why Am I Single?

If you are looking for Mr. Right, your perfect man, the "dream life", STOP. You are wasting precious time and resources on something that will not be. There are no real life Prince Charmings because just like you, the man you want to meet has faults. Life is not a Hollywood script, so do not discount an otherwise good person based on the fact they do not say the perfect thing at the perfect time. This is not Jerry Maguire, this is real life.  Often times we remain single because our list of expectations becomes longer and longer as we age (and in some respects, it should) and because we begin to shrink our social circle. UPS will not deliver Mr. Right to your door via FedEx by 10:30am, you have to get out there. And if you want to find like-minded people, you need to join in activities and social circles where you're likely to find that.

If you are in a relationship or in the blossoming phases of one and experiencing "difficulties" such as a sudden withdrawal by the other person, do not always jump to the conclusion that it is because of you. Even if you are the center of someone's universe, they do have other responsibilities, other things that weigh on them. It  may be the simple fact they're the type that needs time to themselves. It may be that you are expecting things to move along at freight train speed when the relationship wants to take a different pace, a pace of its' own. Do not always assume relationship problems are because of you, remember, there's not only another person in this relationship, there's also other people in the world.



I often get the question (or similar), "How hard is it to make a quick call or respond to a text?" Well, if someone feels "under the gun" in other areas of their life, it may be very difficult. Speaking in general terms, men often will not call unless they have something specific to say, even if you're married to them and/or if they're great in every other respect. To many men, it does not occur to them to just pick up the phone and give a quick, "hello". Remember, men and women are wired differently so our expectations, wants, and needs are going to be different.

Finally, if someone truly is not meeting your needs, then evaluate if it is worth hanging on to without the expectation that you will change the patterns and behaviors of the person.  If it is not, then move on. If it is, wait things out, be honest and (kindly but firmly) out-spoken, and always look at the issue from the other perspective. More selfishness often goes on by the party whose expectations are not being met than they like to let on. Relationships are about give and take and the strong ones, they do go through weathered, battered times.