Get With the Real World...

Hi fellow readers! I want to warn you beforehand that the following post is going to be much more harsh and "real" than I usually am.


Most people want too much without wanting to put in the efffort. That's the absolute, 100% truth. "I want to find someone who really loves and cares for me and that I can marry and be happy with the rest of my life."  There are so many problems with this statement that I'm not sure where to begin but it is almost always certainly followed or preceeded by, "I've been through so  many relationships, given so much, and always get used!" Now, to be sure, sometimes this is true. But it cannot always be true in all of your relationships. Did you expect too much out of the gate? Did you expect things from a person who wasn't capable of giving them? (Did you size this person up and evaluate what they're really capable of?) Did you have unrealistic and needy expectations from/of this person? I can almost guarantee you, the answer is "yes". You know, the saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince" is true. There are many, many people out there but few we are compatible with.




Going back to the bolded statement, relationships take a lot of work, even if you do meet Mr. Right, Mr. Perfect, who I promise you, does not exist. We are adults here, most of us in our 30's, 40's, and older, let's get with reality. Are you perfect? NO. Then why would you expect that of someone else?  Second, there are cases of "love at first sight" and instances where things just happen to click along and move really quickly, but most relationships take a while to develop and unfold and even the ones on the fast track take a lot of work and a lot of patience. When two people come together, you have two sets of expectations, two sets of "quirks", two ways of ingrained living to deal with, not to mention the emotional "baggage" and scars we all carry. You cannot expect someone to be your all and everything, that is asking too much. You also cannot ask that someone give you hope, joy, peace, etc, that has to come from within, they can and should only enhance those feelings.

Please, check your unrealistic expectations at the door. Stop expecting UPS to deliver Mr. Right to your door (get out in activities you like where there would be like-minded people), stop expecting every man to be a perfect Prince Charming out the gate. We are ALL human, we all make mistakes.  Finally, always remember that what I said is not a carte blache pass to accept a person who treats you inappropriately. Never settle, but do be realistic.