Understanding Our Clients, Understanding Ourselves

To better help our clients, we need to have some understanding of where they are coming from and why they do the things they do. Many of us have clients who repeatedly do the same things, expecting different results, and then wonder why their lives are in the states they are. While sympathy for our clients is a necessity and empathy is an even bigger bonus, we need to be able to reach our clients on a deeper level to get to the root of why they do what they do. One way to define an action (or set of actions) is through a term called schemas. “Schemas are habitual ways in which you see things” (Leahy, R. 2003). A person can have a schema related to love, success, failure, weight, self-image or a multitude of other things. Often in the spirituality section, I would argue we get one main set of clients with love/relationships as their schema, followed by success/finances.

We can help our clients by first identifying their schema and then, identifying how the client compensates for that particular schema. A person with a schema that they cannot be loved may overcompensate and become a doormat for anyone that comes their way. Or they may avoid serious relationships altogether to avoid getting hurt. An individual with a schema related to success in their career may either work excessively or may not try at all for fear of failure. Whatever the schema and whatever the compensatory action, finding what these are can help us lead our clients to more healthy ways of coping and dealing with life, leaving behind schemas that have bound them and kept them from success, fulfillment, and happiness.

Reference:

Leahy, R. (2003). Cognitive Therapy Techniques: A Practioner’s Guide. New York: Guilford Press.